The Girl and Rhino

We'll we at TG&R hate to be the ones to break it to you, and we'd like to soften the blow with some flowery language, but, like ripping off a band aid, we feel that speed and terse prose may be the only way to have any kind of salubrious effect -- people, there's a super-terranean pod of dastardly pelicans that controls most of northern California's prized beaches. There, we've said it. They're heavily armed and dangerous. Watch your stuff and consider yourself warned. (That said, we've found that if you give them fresh fish, they'll lay down their weapons and break bread with you. In fact, when relaxed, they're actually quite chatty.)